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Dealing with difficult colleagues, bosses and clients: Using the DISC language to enhance your workplace relationships – Part 1.
Do you have a staff member or a boss that you have difficulty communicating with to the point that you actively avoid them? Or maybe you dread working with one particular person in your department as they seem to cause untold chaos within the team due to their forceful and insistent behaviour?
One of my client’s [let’s call her Abigail] had a new boss take over the leadership reigns and although he had been working in the department for three short weeks, was already causing havoc amongst the team. Compared to her previous boss [who had been a more caring and supportive leader], the new boss was the exact opposite. His behaviour was extremely aggressive, his communication style was very direct [almost blunt], and his impatient nature caused him to want things ‘done yesterday.’
For Abigail, the entire dynamic within her working environment had changed and a job that she had once loved she now despised. She was at her wits end and was considering leaving.
Can you relate to Abigail’s story? Is there someone in your workplace who has a similar behavioural and communication style as described above?
Wouldn’t it be useful to be able to understand the communication and behavioural patterns of people within the workplace so that you can enhance your communications, relationships and outcomes – even with the most difficult people? Well now you can, using a tool that we frequently use in our coaching programs - the DISC Profiling assessment [or DISC language as it is otherwise known].
The DISC Language: A Brief Overview
The DISC language (based on the work of Dr William Moulton Marston) is not a language that we speak, but rather an observable language. DISC doesn’t measure a person’s intelligence, values, skills and experience, or education and training. Rather, DISC identifies a person’s emotions and their behaviour.
The D Factor stands for dominance; how a person responds to problems and challenges. People who are high in the D factor are very direct, strong-willed, results-oriented, persistent, and love a challenge. They may come across to some people as impatient and aggressive in their approach, however being driven to achieve - and achieve BIG - is what drives them. If others in the team are moving along at a somewhat slow pace, a person with a High D tendency will certainly push them along.
The I Factor stands for Influence; how a person influences others to their point of view. People who are high in the ‘I’ factor are enthusiastic, trusting, talkative, sociable, optimistic and confident. They like to be involved in just about everything, use lots of gestures and facial expressions when speaking, and wear their heart on their sleeves, so you’ll certainly know when you have challenged them.
The S Factor stands for Steadfastness; how a person responds to the pace of the environment. People who are high in the ‘S’ factor are sincere, relaxed, understanding, steady and good listeners. They like to complete a project before moving onto another assignment so having several jobs and leaving some undone can be extremely stressful for them. They are good at building strong relationships with a few close people.
The C Factor stands for Compliance; how a person responds to rules and procedures set by others. People who are high in the ‘C’ factor are extremely conscientious, systematic, analytical and methodical. They love to follow procedures and do things by the book. Being aware of and sensitive to the dangers of errors in their work they constantly strive toward a better way of doing things, while aiming for perfection in everything they do.
Expanding awareness of yourself and those around you
Abigail had completed the DISC Profiling Management Staff assessment and coaching program and had been able to gain better understanding of her own preferred communication and behaviour in the workplace, as well as her boss’.
The assessment identified that she was high in the factor ‘I’ (influence), so was enthusiastic, very trusting, sociable and influential in her communications. She preferred lots of interaction in the workplace and opportunities to verbalise her thoughts.
Abigail was able to recognise that her boss was high in the ‘D’ factor and now understood that his direct and aggressive behaviour was not a direct affront to her, but rather was because he was focused on outcomes and results. He did not get involved in the general chit chat and ‘niceties’ that she enjoyed, but rather was focused directly on outcomes and getting the project/task completed.
Adapting and enhancing your communications and relationships with someone with a high ‘D’ factor
Recognising these elements, Abigail was then able to adapt her approach, language and overall communication when speaking to her boss, making a huge difference in improving their relationship, which had previously been somewhat tenuous.
When Abigail spoke to her boss she ensured that she:
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Was brief, direct and to the point when she explained information to him;
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Asked ‘what’ questions and not ‘how’ questions;
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Focused specifically on results, remembering that he was very results and outcome driven;
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Provided him with ‘bottom line’ information when describing a situation;
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Recommended strategies to support him in ongoing problem solving;
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Identified the benefits when bringing forward her ideas;
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Agreed with the facts rather than concentrating on the emotions when she agreed with him;
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Ensured her discussion regarding issues/problems would impact and speed up outcome achievement.
When speaking to him, Abigail no longer:
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Spoke extensively or repeated herself when discussing issues;
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Focused on the problems and issues rather than solutions;
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Made generalisations, but rather was quite specific about the information she was speaking about;
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Provided statements without providing information that would support her claims.
Adopting the above strategies allowed Abigail to enhance her overall interactions and communications with her boss. He no longer became impatient with her because the way in which she approached him provided the right information he needed to continue moving forward. In fact, her boss developed a newfound respect for her and this new appreciation had a huge impact on the overall environment and her attitude to her work. She no longer felt disrespected or unappreciated and once again enjoyed her job and the environment in which she worked.
Next fortnight we’ll identify how to enhance your communications/interactions with someone who has a high ‘I’ factor. Stay tuned!
If you would like to learn more about the DISC language or how to overcome difficulties in your collegial, customer or even personal relationships feel free to contact me on info@a-e-c.com.au
Till next fortnight!
To your success!
Annemarie
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We adopted a gorgeous little Maltese dog (named Muffin) some 18 months ago, who instantaneously became one of the family. I can’t remember life without him in our lives. He has the kindest nature, does not bark incessantly (like some smaller breeds are renowned for), and is extremely obedient (such as ‘sit’ and ‘shake hands’) when a piece of cheese or other snack is being offered. 
Last week I let him out into the back garden and, becoming busy with another activity, I completely forgot he was out there. Calling him inside some 15-20 minutes later, here is how he looked. I nearly fell over backwards with laughter when I saw his (normally) ‘white’ snout, covered in huge clumps of mud. No prizes for guessing what he had been doing when ‘mum’ wasn’t looking. I ended up having to cut all around his face as the mud just wouldn’t budge. I just had to share this picture with you! 
